in search of....

"what is life if full of care..we have no time to stand and stare.."
isnt it so true..atlest it holds true for me and has been becoming a reality with each passing year..gone are those days of imagionation...where i had ample time to stare at a brook..a gulmohur tree growing by the side of my grandmum's kitchen..or the big river that passed through my little town..and now as i am growing up..though i am intelectually slimulated or rather trying to hyper activate my grey cells..it seems that staring..and thinking about a brook..or a tree..or a dog is mere wastage of time which could have been invested in an academic discourse or redaing a journal...
How i wish to be Heidi..and live in the meadows..sleep under the clear starry sky and wake up to the first rays of the sun..and the chatter of innumerable birds...but alas it is not to be..i shared this wish with a friend of mine and guess what he said.."well...dear..u are looking for escapism.."..if this is escapism then what and what really comprises true existence...
..."happy is the man whose wish and care ..a few paternal acres bound..content to breathe his native air..in his own ground.."..i cant agree more with A.Pope..but i cant be agreed with..in this constant quest for good things in life mostly material we lose out on the message of the soull..what one really craves for and what one is made to crave for...because i have expectations put on me..i have responsibilities and i have a call to answer which i cant sitting all day under a bough...
Nevertheless..one has to emerge victorious even in this rat race...i feel we are all waliking and walking..with eyes and ears closed..towards that one end..one goal..suppressing our innate desires somewhere..always in pursuit of happiness..but this hapiness is again not absolute..a compromise has to be reached..it is negotiable...can wealth really make me happy?or is it fame and glory that will make me happier..oh no it has to be success and goal attainment..and why cant i have all of the above and more..and thus i will keep on walking and then running..and then sprinting after all the above..till i have nothing in me left..to stand and stare..but may be a sense of accomplishment somewhere..a sense of putting in hard work and labour..but can that ever substitute my innate hopes?....may be and may be not..as they say the mind can be moulded and so can one mould the heart..to see and feel what one wants to...
...and then there were none......